A Tattered Ninja
by Ohtori Akio
Summary: ONE SHOT. HAYATEXANKO. Hayate muses about Anko one day, sorting his feelings for her.


**A/N: Doing something HayateXAnko. I really love that couple for some reason, so I decided to write something about them. I may make this a series of stories or just do individual one shots. Depends really. But here is one of them. Please R&R!**

**Title: A Ninja in Tatters**

**By: Ohtori Akio**

**Rating: PG**

**Pairing: HayateXAnko**

**Summary: ONE SHOT. HAYATEXANKO. Hayate muses about Anko one day, sorting his feelings for her.**

**A Ninja in Tatters**

**A Hayate x Anko story**

**By: Ohtori Akio**

She glances at me with inquiring eyes, dark orbs that shine and shimmer with the glow of the forest on a summer's day. I shoot her that placid smile that I have come to master over the years, a smile that could mean anything from sincere happiness to repressed displeasure. Her brows furrow slightly, as if she ponders on the meaning of that gesture, but the look of worry crosses her face quickly, not diminishing her gaze.

Mitarashi Anko. How appropriate her name seems to me. In her essence of the heavens- unfettered, boundless in her enthusiasm and ever constant in her quest to achieve true honor. My eyes wander to the curse mark on her neck, a reminder of the person she used to be, once long ago, in a meeting with a man who would change her life forever. That man was gone, I knew, betrayed her on that fateful day. Yet her drive and passion shines through wherein Orochimaru basks in the darkness he's immersed himself in.

I feel a twinge of pity as I watch her, this woman whose brilliant idealism somehow illuminates my world. She is different from all of the other kunoichi I've had in my life. She's not cruel, manipulative or even apathetic. She's caring and concerned- sometimes overly so- with achieving happiness and a semblance of a normal life. Other's happiness are high on her list of priorities. She offers me genuine friendship, and perhaps something more. There is a deeper sort of affection lurking within those deep dark pools that reflects her soul. She doesn't acknowledge this, nor overly realize it even, not with her obsession of beating Orochimaru.

In all respects, I should be thrilled that she wants to accomplish this, to have such a compassionate person on my side. But I somehow find it abhorrent, to constantly be immersed in her concern. To constantly be reminded of all that I had once had – a charming and gallant woman. It strikes deep into my consciousness how far we've fallen. For her, who was reduced to a mere kunoichi instead of the great disciple of Orochimaru. And I, no longer will ever be worthy to be anyone's savior.

I don't like being Anko's friend, not because I dislike him, but because I know she deserved better. Deserved much better.

Since I have become a ninja I have closed my heart to compassion and any semblance of hope, knowing fully well that harboring such emotions would ultimately cause me greater pain then any sword. This is the burden I carry willingly through the years. It has become a power game between Konoha and Orochimaru.

Yes, I do long for bygone days while reveling in the depravity of the closed ninja world that I had made my home. I have all but given up my dreams when she came into my life: this snake kunoichi. When she had dared expose my heart to strings of affection with her outright trust and unwavering friendship. I find myself gazing at her sometimes, when she doesn't notice, and wish that if only I had retained even a little of the innocence I once had, she would have a strong and confident ninja. She has instead, a ninja that is wilted, like a flower by the demands of others, trying to cling on to the last wisp of fragrance that lingers in my soul. A tattered ninja with limbs as wrecked as his soul.

She continues to study me, not speaking, though I knew it took an effort for her not to blurt out what was on her mind. She has extraordinary sense, this young woman- she could almost sense when words weren't necessary between us. This is one of those times. She sighed as she lied on the grass and averted her gaze, staring up into the infinite horizon with melancholy, inquisitive eyes. I watch her as she watches the sky, watch her until she begins to merge into the heavens that reflect her like a shimmering mirror in their brilliance.

"Hayate," She suddenly says, sitting up and gazing directly into my eyes. "Have you ever wondered if…"

"If what, Anko-san?" I reply nonchalantly, even as the odd mixture of desire and regret in here eyes sending a twinge of pity and remorse into my very soul. I continue to pull off a look of peace and wait for her to continue.

"If, some day, when all of this is over, and Konoha is peaceful." She earnestly states, her hand grasping my own, warm and insistence. "We could maybe…Spend some time together or something. We could go out to eat, or go dancing…"

"Yes, Anko-san." I say in an all too calm voice, coughing a little afterwards. I wish I could mean it, however. I wish I could with all of my heart.

"But what am I thinking?" She declares sheepishly, removing her hand from mine. "Hell, we may die before this is all over with! "

She sighed again, a brooding sound that seems so unnatural for her normally cheerful façade. She glances at me sheepishly, almost apologetically, the warmth from her wistful smile openly endearing. She stretches a bit, as if out of habit, though I knew that this moment she was taking her time before speaking again.

"This may seem strange to you." She finally utters slowly, "Probably even a little silly, but some part of me feels that we're meant to be together. No, not necessarily with you and I being on the same team as ninja…I think we could be together as…friends…No, closer then that, I think. You've practically been the only semblance of family I've had since I've arrived here in Konoha."

She turns to me with that tender, yet mischievous smile, though her eyes hinted at seriousness I have seldom seen the whole time I've known her. A seriousness that both unnerved and excited me.

"And I'd like it to remain that way, us being together I mean." She continued. "I'd like us to pull through this together, Hayate. Some day, surely."

"So would I." I say again, with more warmth then I had intended. _If only it could be that way. If only such a way would not be paved with pain and fury, with so heavy a burden and so sharp a sword to contend with. _I think.

"We'd best be getting back." She states as she stands and extends a hand to pull me to my feet. "Hokage-sama might go looking for us, and he might need some help."

"Even if," She adds wryly. "You think my idea is stupid."

We walk back together in silence, Anko humming silently to herself. She has offered me an enticing possibility, to be sure. A glimpse into a future where fairytale lives still, with courage and nobility intact. Where I could be free, surely from the burden guilt has placed on my shoulders and we could dance under the stars with the moonlight guiding our steps. Then, just as quickly as I peek into the window of opportunity, I furiously and fearfully slam it shut.

_Maybe some day, Anko, you will rise above Orochimaru, but not with a tattered ninja by your side._

**END**

**A/N: That was an angsty Hayate, apparently. sigh Every time I try to write something happy, it goes into serious. I'm an angst/horror writer and it's like a disease. I can write funny stuff in drabbles, but just not in fanfiction for some reason. Oh well, please R&R!**


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